A Taste of Saccharine Truth (06/26/2005)
Could one argue to the idea that there are only two forces that change and define our lives the greatest - the THINGS WE DO and the PEOPLE WE MEET? One may say that there are many other forms, but still, they all come down to these two, either of them may happen first before the other. What we do in life surely affects our relationships with people, and who we meet surely influences the things that we do. These two are so basic, that we are unaware that we overlook them and live our lives as usual.
But not for me. I tend to look at the "ordinary" lives of people - how they do things and how they relate with others from several different angles. A seemingly simple situation can be presented in a unique way, so that there will always be something special in the little things that we do, in attempt of living life a bit better. It’s not that I’m nosy of other people’s business. It’s just that, for me, their stories are more interesting and more significant than mine, that I learn from and include then into my own, unless of course someone else looks into my life in a different light.
Let me look into the most common, say, passé themes that almost, if not everybody dwells on – love and death.
Taken from one of my captures of life, this is the story of…
THE PROMISE
Neil felt so weary… He needed a rest. Time went by so quickly, he could hardly keep up with it. Kaye, the woman he held dear, succumbed to a vehicular accident they met barely a year ago. After she passed away, life had never been the same for him. He felt so incomplete, that even the other woman he was seeing then aside from her could not fill that gap. It was as though an essential part of him was missing and I longed to be reunited with it because deep inside, he knew he could never live for long without it.
It was a terrible ordeal for her, he knew. He saw and felt her pain as she fought for her life after saving his from that tragic wreck. She was in a comatose state but he could feel her will to survive for she had managed to stay alive for two days. The strength he had always admired in her through the times pulsed stubbornly beneath her fragile body. She was unwilling to give up till her last breath… for him. The doctors tried to revive her but her body refused to cooperate. Finally, Kaye accepted defeat and Neil lost her.
As he held her hand in the hospital, merely an hour before she passed away, he could not help but smile as he remembered how, once, this same little hand held his, more than a year before the tragedy, as they walked at the bayside, witnessing the sunset together, when she accepted him and his love. Neil offered Kaye a promise… to walk with her all throughout her life.
He was very happy and contented since then. He thought he could not ask for anything more. Of all the women he met and of all the friends he had, Kaye was the only one who touched him – heart and soul. He was with the person he loved and they had beaten the odds together. Life took on a greater meaning for him.
He looked down at her and saw the lady, who was once enthusiastic and radiant, now lying as frail and fragile as a child. He remembered how they held and loved each other during those blissful moments they shared. He could recall that morning, as they traveled out of town for their anniversary, when he opened my eyes and saw her face, her eyes closed, her arms wrapped possessively around him, and her breath warm against his chest as she slept peacefully on the bus.
At the hospital, her eyes were closed in that same peaceful sleep, a slumber so deep she would never wake up from it. And, this time, what he felt was not warmth but her labored breathing. Those same hands that touched and pampered me had become helpless, devoid of feeling.
Devoid of feeling… that was what he thought of himself. It was because of this that he kept blaming himself for what happened to her. If she could only speak at this time, she would deserve to regard him as just that – unfeeling… a traitor… a liar.
Before the mishap, He had a fling with another woman. She was his officemate. He got attracted to her because she was beautiful, sexy, witty, and spontaneous. Neil loved Kaye but he felt he also wanted some thrill and diversity in his life as a “man.” He asked my friends to conspire not to tell her. What she did not know would not hurt her, He pondered.
But secrets were bound to be discovered, to be revealed, for one could never hide it for long, and Neil was no exception. Kaye had read the card on a bouquet he had given her – the flowers that turned out to be not meant for her.
With a bitter look in her eyes, she started running away from me. He called out her name as he ran after her. She took a bus, not knowing where it was bound, and he was able to catch up with her. He sat beside her but she looked away. He understood her.
Slowly, she faced him with tears down her cheeks. All he heard was her faltering voice, saying, “I knew it… long before this.”
The silence between the two of them prevailed over the loud sounds of the speeding bus and the noise of other passengers. It was really deafening it felt like eternity.
“I am the sole witness to the pain I feel. No one else knows of my misery. I never sought comfort and advice from anyone for I believe that you are my only comfort. I thought I was strong enough, but maybe I am coward after all. I’m afraid you would leave me to be with her. I can bear the pain of knowing but I’m not sure if I can live without you. It’s true that you and everybody else have been lying to me, but I am the one who had lived the greatest lie. I pretended not to know…”
Those were the last words he heard from her when that fateful night happened.
It was so fast. Neil could hardly remember where and when it took place. He opened my eyes and saw those lifeless bodies lying around; some people whining in pain; the wrecked cargo truck motionless and their bus tumbled down. But the most terrifying thing he had ever seen there was Kaye… beside him, lying on her side, covered with blood, pinned down entirely by that side of the bus where they were sitting. She took the impact – the impact that was supposed to be on him.
He was devastated when he heard from the doctors that her condition was a total damage.
He wept in regret. He discovered how selfish he had been! And she, despite her heartache, had saved his life. She showed him the greatest essence of love: sacrificing one’s own life for another.
Then he realized he never stopped loving her.
He touched the unwounded part of her face – the face of the only woman he had ever loved. He stroked her long hair and whispered…
“I am very sorry. Please forgive me. I love you so much, honey.”
He was. He really was. He was about to tell her those very same words right there on the bus but it was too late.
Somehow, she must had heard and understood him despite her unconscious state, for a small tear trickled down her cheek. He kissed her and realized that the bond of love still tied them together despite what had come between us. He held her hand tightly and prayed hard as she fell deeper and deeper into a sleep that would last forever.
Until the end Neil was there with her. He didn’t leave her side all that night.
Until the end Kaye was there for him. She never left his side all her life.
Years had passed, and Neil was already in the final phase of his life, but still, the day Kaye left seemed only yesterday. He could still feel her presence.
Last night, He had a wonderful dream. He, looking old, was walking down a road lined with trees on both sides. They were abundant with healthy, green leaves.
Suddenly, the leaves turned brown and fell from their branches, covering the earth like a soft blanket. And in the distance He saw her. She was smiling. She was so beautiful, young, and blooming. She held out her hand to him and said,
“I forgive you. And my love for you hasn’t changed a bit. Please promise that you’ll walk with me…” He felt sheer happiness, and, as he ran towards her, he willingly answered,
“Thank you… I promise…”
And when he was about to take her hand, she vanished into thin air as consciousness took over him.
He wished he could have that dream again so he could get to keep his promise.
Neil was so tired, so weak. He needed a rest. People say it is healthy to take naps. It’s true because he used to.
He will take one right now and closes his eyes for a while… just for a little while…
